I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
