the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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