i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
