I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
