some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need Xanax blowdarts
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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