they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Is it penis luge time yet?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
