Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
