Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
