Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
