Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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