There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
