I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
