Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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