Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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