Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
