he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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