He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
