Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
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I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
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Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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