I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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