Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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