So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
