We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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