Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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