if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
