Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize