So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
