He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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