omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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