i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
