ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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