he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
