when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
