I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
