We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
