i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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