I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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