Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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