I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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