Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
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