your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
