Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
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he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
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Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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