Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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