So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
