Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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