WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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