I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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