so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
