doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
