Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
