hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
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Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
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Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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