wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Randomize
