I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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