Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
