Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Randomize
