yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
