just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I can't turn off my feet"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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