i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
