Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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