So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
