38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
There r osticjed everywhere
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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