I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Small penises have feelings too.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
