you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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