this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
