redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
