He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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