Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
